The final straw.

I have officially lost the last ounce of respect I had. I have fought so hard to not go in too hard about how I truly feel about everything but I. am. so. done.

I am pretty appalled at the person he has become. That once oh-so-caring individual is long gone. And now I am no longer going to hide it. Why should I? Why am I still continuing to try and protect his “image” when he has done nothing good to me since leaving me? Speaking of image, everyone’s laughing at ya xo

Following on from my last post, I had another moment of weakness over the weekend. I had just messaged my friend about doing something on the day of what would’ve been my 9 year anniversary to keep my mind busy and just surround myself around people who actually care and matter. Of course, my friends came through as always. I knew I was going to be a bit all over the place come Wednesday, but what I didn’t expect was to have a full blown breakdown of uncontrollable crying to the extent that I was having to scream into my pillow and duvet at 3am trying not to wake up my flatmates.

It took me by surprise (again) but then I felt grateful that it came earlier than I expected, so then maybe come Wednesday I’d be a bit “stronger” mentally and emotionally. I was so exhausted I ended up not going in on Monday but instead made up for it by getting some studying done and was in today for a full day of clinics. I have an essay due at midnight tonight which I’ve only planned and not written, so my goal was to come home, get cracking with the essay (which isn’t that deep, very much opinion based hence the last minute vibes), submit it and catch up with some friends. But of course, my plan did not go to plan.

The clinics part of my day went to plan, I went in and had a really good day with some fab surgeons and nurses and was reminded of why I love studying medicine and training to become a doctor. Got back home, was determined to smash out the essay and just before I put my phone on airplane mode, I stupidly decided to check my emails. Facepalm x 10000.

A bit of context – he got us a couples gym membership two months before he broke up with me. Weird flex, considering he had been unhappy with the relationship during that time. Anyway, post-break up, he said that he was happy for me to stay on it until I qualify in the summer. We left it at that.

Today, being the day before what would’ve been 9 years, I get an email saying he’s essentially removed me from the membership. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really give a shit about being removed cos I’d already got a different membership elsewhere to a place I can actually go with friends I’m on placement with!

But it’s just the timing of it all. What was your game plan hun? To hurt me even more cos you couldn’t have possibly hurt me enough 6 months ago? To really solidify that this is done? Cos honestly you didn’t need to, you’d be surprised as to how much growth there has been since you left my life (s/o to my friends who have carried me through it all <3). Luckily although this email really knocked me down initially, I was quickly able to pick myself up, prioritise what needed to be done and got my essay done.

This kind of petty behaviour speaks volumes at your big age, thank you for showing me that the universe really helped me to throw out the trash even when I didn’t even know it had to be thrown out.

Also if you’re reading this then please kindly abcdefu

X

Breaking the streak

I haven’t cried over my break up in so many months. It has been amazing but the tears stopped a long time ago. If someone told me six months ago that I would’ve stopped crying like a month or two after the break up, I would’ve never believed them. But it happened. I’ve been “tear free” for so many months. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had plenty of emotional moments but nothing related to my break up.

But anyway, I managed to break that “tear free” streak today.

I was really confused as to what triggered it. It’s not like I spend my days dwelling over the past. I don’t spend my time going through old photos or anything. Annoyingly the iPhone memories manage to include something that involves him almost every day, but it hasn’t phased me at all in the longest time. I literally feel *nothing*. Not even numb. Just a weird emptiness but then I focus my attention on something else and life goes on as I’m able to remind myself of how much more beautiful my life has become.

After breaking that streak, I managed to figure out why it may have happened. It is that time of the month. And no, I don’t mean the female cycle haha. But it is the final week of November. Meaning that normally, or least for the past 9 years of my life, I have been busy getting all excited about our anniversary which falls on December 1st.

December 1st. This date has held so much significance in my life for the longest time. It would’ve been 9 years of us and 2 years since getting engaged. But for the first time in many years, it is going to be the same as any other day. It’s weird isn’t it? When you think you’ve been doing the most to just move on and get on with life, but something has to come up and knock you off your lane. Of course, it’s just a temporary blip but still, a blip.

Anyway, I’ve had my moment of sadness and utilised this moment to vent and write about it as this is the best way I deal with my emotions. It’s now time to get back to reality, continue to surround myself with the positive energy that I’ve been surrounding myself with, and count my blessings for the people in my life, both new and old. And also, I need to remind myself I’m not the same person that I was a year ago, or even 6 months ago. And I love that for me.

X

True Colours

Isn’t it amazing when you start to see things in a person that you never used to? And no, I don’t mean good things that start to surface. I mean the bad stuff that starts to surface and makes you think.

Imagine. You spend your entire 20s so far with a human that you think you know inside out. You put them on a pedestal and admire everything they have going for them. Yes, they have their flaws but your admiration for them makes you see right through those flaws. It makes you more likely to dismiss potential red flags that may appear. And boy, I am seeing so much red lately when I reflect! But anyway, you think they are the best thing since sliced bread. Kind, caring, compassionate, not a bad bone in their body.

But actually, time apart highlights the ugly. The selfishness beyond words. Boy I can’t even begin…

Something significant came to light recently, something unrelated to us though. But it was something he knew was very close to my heart and understandably I would be very sad about it right now. I made sure he was made aware that it was happening because he also had connections with the situation. I didn’t try and contact him but instead went via a family member. It was the first time I even spoke to anyone from that circle since I cut everyone off, but surprisingly had a nice and calm conversation. Said person agreed to pass on the news. Despite how bad it is, he didn’t have the decency to even reach out. I’m not saying I wanted him to, but I thought if he was that same kind, compassionate person that I knew before, he would out of genuine kindness. I know I would’ve if the tables had turned. But it has been a week and nothing. Not heard a peep. It instead confirmed my thoughts and revealed his true colours – he is not the same person I knew.

And tbh, I am glad. It has shown me exactly what kind of a man the universe made me dodge before getting tied down for good 🙂 🙂 🙂

X

Celebrating the small wins…

I’ve experienced several ups and downs over the last few days. I kept thinking about him. But the good thing is that I am now able to dismiss the thoughts quite quickly, but this weekend the thoughts and memories were popping up more and more frequently.

It doesn’t help that his face keep catching me by surprise when I’m on my phone, thanks to the iPhone camera roll features. But I don’t have the heart to delete everything yet.

Yesterday I was fed up of the increasing frequency of the thoughts. So I decided to give myself the time to actually go through a couple of our photos of the good times. I revisited photos of our holiday, our engagement, times with friends and just funny photos from when we were chilling. I actually had the strength to delete quite a few photos. Not everything, but I think this is going to be a step-by-step thing. I don’t know if I will ever have the heart to delete everything, but for now I am deleting a couple every now and then.

Today I realised he only popped into my head once in the morning and then once earlier this evening. Then obviously now as I am writing this. I feel like going through some of the photos yesterday helped me?! Either way, when I realised that he hadn’t popped up in my head a fraction of the amount of times he has been in the recent past, I felt a sense of relief. Is this me… growing? Accepting? Whatever it is, I am SO here for it. I just hope it lasts!

I even told my best friend yesterday, that I feel like I have been genuinely happy recently. Like aside from the times when the thoughts of him come and piss me off that is. Genuine happiness feels like something so unusual. I feel like I have been forced to fake my happiness maybe 70% of the time over the last few months. But that percentage is definitely decreasing. Doing lots of reflecting and surrounding myself with friends and doing things I wasn’t very open to before (mainly going out frequently and saying yes to motives haha) has helped. A lot. But in the process I’ve discovered a whole new side of me that I haven’t seen before.

It initially worried me to think that I am discovering all these new things about me as I’m getting into my late 20s. I am starting to appreciate the smaller things in life, and most of all being less critical of myself and learning to love myself. But definitely better late than never. Did I almost marry someone without actually discovering who I am and not knowing how to love myself?! That sh*t scares me. Thank god for the universe eh?!

Med school is also starting to get more and more real. Starting to approach the end of our first placement, all of our foundation job application stuff starts from today and the biggest surprise today was getting a glimpse of my future GMC number! Fingers crossed, with hard work, good things are on the way.

X

I failed my 4th year med school exams…

I failed my 4th year exams

Yes. It happened.

As if coming to terms with my mental health struggles and my break up wasn’t enough, life decided to throw more lemons at me by adding this extra stress. 

It had not been long since the finalisation of the break up either. Results day itself this year was already going to be hard enough as my ex and I had a running tradition of spending the day with each other on every results day we both had since 2015. So not only was I alone for it for the first time in years, but I also found out I had failed. 

Safe to say, I was a mess. I had no idea how I was going to mentally cope with not only dealing with a breakup, not talking to my best friend but now also to find the strength to actually resit my exams. I had only failed by FOUR marks in one paper and THREE in the other. The pass mark was also ridiculously high – like 60 or 61%. Almost 1/3 of my year had also failed, so I felt less alone in this whole process. Nevertheless, it was utterly sh*t. I miss biomed pass marks of 40% lol

Retakes were scheduled for just under three weeks time. I managed to put my head down during the first maybe two or three days, but then I was struggling. I was an emotional wreck, I went through periods of sadness and then suddenly anger and frustration. I was barely eating still, so my energy levels were just not great. My head was not in the right space to resit these exams. But I knew I had to get through this. Because this is about me, for my future, and I was not prepared to let someone else get in the way of my second chance. Especially not someone from my past who was no longer in my present life. Urgh. Men.

I really struggled. My family were absolutely great and did what they could. But sometimes nothing would help. But eventually I started to go back to the gym as I realised I needed some kind of routine. Before I knew it, I was going to the gym every other day throughout the revision period and it REALLY helped me – mentally, physically and emotionally. I felt a sense of relief when I would walk into the gym, and such satisfaction when I’d walk out. I started eating better. My sister was such a babe and would make me all sorts of healthy smoothies for me to drink after my workouts! they tasted better than they looked xD

One day, I got chatting with one of the personal trainers and I swear I was meant to meet her. Turns out she had gone through a lot of similar things in her past and gave me so much hope. She ended up giving me a free PT session and through her I started getting into weight training and fell even more in love with working out. She would check in on me whenever she’d see me at the gym and it honestly was such a blessing in disguise to meet her. 

My mood would have its ups and downs, but regular gym sessions definitely helped. Days when I would be extra frustrated I’d sit on the bikes and cycle 10k. If I had a lot of anger, I’d throw in a couple of extra reps with weights. I found an outlet and I was so bloody pleased. Revision was sticky during the middle of the three weeks because I would see DUMB things through social media that would upset me lol. But yeah ultimately, the revision period was really difficult and I can honestly say the most productive revision was probably done maybe a few days before the exam itself. But better than nothing right? I had to prioritise ME and make sure I was well before doing anything. 

Exams came, sat them, then got results a week and a bit later. Was SO relieved to find out that I had passed and was able to progress into final year!! My family and friends would make it a habit to remind me that I achieved this despite all the difficult things I was going through. And that ladies and gentleman, is all the motivation I need to prove to myself that I GOT THIS.

I am still healing and have a long road ahead of me. But I already know I’m in a MUCH better place than I was around 3 months ago. I’ve admittedly struggled to schedule gym in with placement life but I’m going to start this week as I finally feel like I’m getting into the swing of things. Slowly but surely, progress is being made. And I’m here for it!

Anyway again, why share this? We are all prone to seeing success stories and positive stuff on social media. When the reality is, even these people experience hardships and failures in their lives but may simply decide not to talk about them. Med school is tough. Any degree is tough!! It is NORMAL to fail exams, to retake exams and even retaking the year is very normal. But people don’t talk about it enough. By sharing my experience, again I hope that I help someone out there feel less alone about failing exams and to remind them that failure is still a part of success. We have retakes for a reason – because failing is normal. It’s just a second chance to have another shot. But it is SO important to also listen to our physical and mental health – if we can’t study, it’s okay. It’s miles better to take time off completely and come back to tackle revision when you’re feeling more refreshed. 

X

My fiancé left me…

Those of you who have been following me on Mini Studies (link at the end) for over 1.5 years may remember that I posted a lot about getting engaged at the end of 2019 to my long-term other half. Cannot wait for the wedding! Yeah… That ship has sailed. 

I’m not here to talk badly of him but I’m using this space… MY space to get my thoughts and feelings out and reflect on the things he put me though. The whole thing has been so mentally, physically and emotionally draining so I don’t want to waste anymore time talking about it than I need to. But I did say that I wanted to explain what I’ve been dealing with over the last couple of months so this is purely about me and my perspective. 

We had been together for a lovely 8.5 years. We got together quite young (I was in my first year of studying biomedical science and he was in his first year of med school) but we were really happy together and I genuinely could not imagine my life with anyone else I’d rather be with. We were the best of friends. We were planning on getting married as soon as med school was done with (but obviously COVID was complicating things quite a bit as we wanted to have a destination wedding).

In the last year or so things have been rocky I guess. Lockdown struggles, not being able to socialise with friends, work for him/placement for me. Then for me I had the added stresses of dealing with my mental health – which btw I had zero insight into at the time. From the start of 2021 things have been difficult. Looking after unwell family members whilst trying to also balance placement was hard. Then dealing with the workload and catching up due to having to isolate was hard. Trying to actually look after myself was hard. Everything was hard. I was literally crying every single day when I tried to get my work done and meet deadlines. Yet I kept going because I thought it was normal and just a bad phase. But in reality that was the beginning of the real deterioration in my mental health. 

I was losing my temper so quickly, having very emotionally draining outbursts and just hated myself really. Studying was a myth as I couldn’t concentrate – this was something that had been manifesting for the longest period though. I would look at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. I wasn’t eating well, I was eating whatever would make me feel good and in turn putting on so much weight and let myself go. I really let myself go to the point where I felt like I was being fat shamed (but that’s a whole other topic of conversation). Clothes weren’t fitting me which in itself was really hard to deal with. Despite all of this, I just couldn’t bring myself to make the necessary changes, like eating healthy and going to the gym. Unfortunately my fiancé was the punch bag. He dealt with all my meltdowns. As he always has done as he has always been really supportive and been there for me over the years. However during those particular months I understand now that I was not a nice person to be around. 

I realised my behaviour wasn’t normal following a very big outburst. I was given an ultimatum to seek help. I finally realised I had nothing to blame it on. It was at that moment I took time to reflect and decided to speak to my GP. 

I started meds and therapy. I was starting to feel a bit like myself again. I was able to concentrate for a bit longer and calmed down significantly. Even my fiancé acknowledged the positive changes. Things were starting to improve again. Exams came around and I was able to study & get through it. I started eating better and started consistently going to the gym. We were happy (or at least I thought we were). Then suddenly the only world I had known for the last 8.5 years of my life came crashing down… 

He turned around and said he wasn’t feeling the relationship anymore & hadn’t been happy for the past few months (conveniently aligned with when I was at my lowest in terms of my mental health). Okay yes, I completely understand that I was not the easiest person to be around but clearly I was not the best version of myself during that time especially?! I also found out that he had told his family and friends that he hasn’t been happy, but failed to tell the person he’s not happy with. He said he no longer sees or wants a future with me and doesn’t want to marry me anymore. He said all this (+ more) word for word. I was shocked and heartbroken as I didn’t see it coming. I can’t tell you how hurtful some of the things he said were. In fact there was a major red flag a few months prior to these discussions occurring – I was last to find out that he had applied for a training post in a whole different city. Why was this a red flag? Well, we had planned to stay in the same city for the following year, so I had organised my final year placements to be in the same city as his job at the time. So all of a sudden I was left in a city I didn’t want to be in and he was ready to jump ship. But at the time there was no talk of a break up. I wish I saw the red flag at the time, but of course, I was too naive and even after finding that out was willing to make things work in terms of long distance. This was me in a nutshell throughout this relationship – just dealing with whatever gets thrown my way and letting him off the hook. My counsellor has allowed me to break so many aspects of this down and opened my eyes up to realise what what I put up with was far from okay and I tolerated so much. Don’t get me wrong, this is not me saying I am perfect. I am far from perfect. But I give too many chances and brush things under the carpet way too much. God bless my counsellor for coming into my life and making me realise all this.

But anyway, when he sprung the idea of breaking up, it was very clear that he had already made up his mind and there was nothing that could have stopped him from leaving me. He wasn’t willing to accept that I hadn’t been the best version of myself for the longest time and therefore was deserving of another chance, given that I was addressing my personal issues AND making progress. But no, I was not worthy of another chance. After 8.5 years he didn’t even want to try and work though it. I can’t lie, I begged so much. So much that I look back and all I can say is I am highly embarraaazzzed with myself👀

My mental notebook be like: if a man wants to leave win him back LET HIM WALK GIRL

Trying to come to terms with this whole surprise break up (well, surprise on my end but clearly well planned on his) was so tough. I was a mess. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I lost 3kg in the space of a week (and losing weight is something I normally struggle with). The progress I had made in terms of my own self was slowly undoing itself. 

But thank god for my amazing family & amazing friends❤️. They lifted me up when I felt like I was hitting rock bottom for the second time in the space of a few months. They looked after me and helped me get through the worst of days. They encouraged me to eat, they encouraged me to use the gym as an outlet. I was doing 10k on the bikes several times a week as I found it to be extremely therapeutic especially when I was extra frustrated. And the perk of it all? I lost a lot of weight and started to feel GOOD about myself in the longest time. I started to love going to the gym. I was able to fit into clothes that I haven’t worn for years. My sleep continued to be significantly disturbed. It continues to be really bad but not as bad as it once was. But anyway, I held onto these small wins and tried to get through this dark period. Don’t get me wrong though. I still had my moments of deep sadness and feeling extremely low, but I felt like I was in a better position to try and pick myself up at this point having been on meds and therapy for a few weeks already. Things were slowly improving… but then a certain day came and everything went downhill again…

To be continued.

https://www.instagram.com/ministudies_/

X

Mental Health Struggles

I never thought I’d be comfortable enough to share this on the internet. But when I’ve seen amazing influencers openly talking about their personal experiences with mental health, it made me more comfortable about sharing my own journey. 

I didn’t know I wasn’t okay for the longest time. It was something that had clearly been building up for time. Until the final trigger came & I was forced to open up my eyes and realise that I haven’t been myself for the longest time, & that the way I’ve been behaving isn’t healthy. I reached out to my GP & after we had a long chat, I agreed to try medication & CBT. 

The medication itself has actually been really helpful. I was a bit nervous about starting it to begin with knowing how it doesn’t work for everyone initially & you might need to try different types before finding the one. Luckily I didn’t have to go through that, but I’ve since had many dose changes & finally found a dose that works for me. CBT was online & in a group format, & was beneficial in ways too, especially with thinking positively & actively trying to change the thinking behind certain behaviours. Also being in an anonymous group setting was reassuring. 

But I knew I needed more than that. So I got referred to have some counselling. I’ve only just started & had two sessions & my god. I love my counsellor. We’ve spoken about so many things already & she’s helped me break down so much stuff in my life that I would’ve never ever considered. I’m seeing so many things in a different light, & whilst it has been upsetting at times, it’s also been a healthy way to understand why certain things have happened the way they did.

So why am I putting myself out there like this? Because mental health problems are SO COMMON. We really need to work towards removing that stigma associated with it. 

IT 👏🏽IS 👏🏽OKAY 👏🏽TO👏🏽NOT👏🏽BE👏🏽 OKAY – just make sure you seek help if you feel like you’re not okay! Surround yourself by people you trust and always remember to put yourself FIRST.

Mental health is just as important as physical health 🧠♥️

X

Four years later and I’m BACK

I cannot believe I have left this blog abandoned for essentially the entire duration of med school! But almost 4 years later, we’re back xoxo

Safe to say a LOT has happened especially over the recent year of 2021 so all shall be revealed soon!

x

Working in the NHS before Med School

I never saw myself loving my job as much as I do. I’m forever filling in my family and friends on the funny and interesting stuff from work, and it was during one of the many work-related conversations that made me realise that yes, I do love my job, because I can’t seem to stop talking about it, even after almost two years!

I believe it has a lot to do with my colleagues though. I work with such a fantastic bunch of individuals who make each day bearable, despite the super intense and stressful days that we often face. I mean, there are also people who make you want to run away and hide too, but which work place doesn’t? 😛

I’ve mentioned it here and there but to summarise, I work in theatres at a hospital in the outskirts of London. I am based in an emergency theatre, which means that I see a variety of procedures from all sorts of specialties being carried out on a daily basis. I do also work in some elective lists, but emergency is my home. When I was assigned to being a permanent member of the emergency team, all I could think of was how much I’ll be able to see, learn and most of all, take away with me if I were to get into med school!

Writing this post a week before handing in my resignation makes me smile at how far I have come. But I feel a sense of sadness too, knowing that it is time for me to move on with the next chapter of my life. I applied for this job in the hope that it would provide me with the necessary experience to make an informed decision as to whether medicine was definitely the career I wanted to pursue.

… It most definitely did!

I have learnt so much, and I know it will be of so much use one day. My understanding of surgical equipment, instruments and how to scrub properly will be so valuable for when I start surgery placement in a few years, and my experiences of working within a multi-disciplinary team will stay with me forever. The importance of team work and bringing in various skill sets to achieve the common goal of maintaining patient safety will always be of utmost importance.

The times when things haven’t necessarily gone to plan have also been eye-opening. The way individuals work together to make a plan for when the bed manager comes in to tell us there’s only one ITU bed for three patients who require critical care post-op, or when there are two equally urgent emergency cases with only one theatre available. Every experience has come with such important lessons.

If someone told me back in 2015 that I was going to take two years out after my first degree before getting into med school, I would’ve been so stressed out. I would’ve questioned whether I have the patience and energy to keep trying.

But today, if you asked me whether I regret the time it has taken me to get into med school? I would say no, most definitely not. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and I am honestly so grateful that it has taken me this long. Working in the NHS before medicine has probably been the best thing I have done for myself. I know the experiences alone have changed me as a person and I have matured a lot more, as well as developing a realistic understanding of what a career in medicine will entail.

I knew this job was never going to be permanent, but I never knew I would end up learning so much and most importantly, as I said at the start of this post, I did not see myself enjoying a job quite as much as I do!

To the nurses, doctors and other professionals I have met on my journey, I thank you for all that you have helped me realise, and for everything you have taught me 🙂 .

X

 

I GOT INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL!

I did it.

I actually did it.

After all the dreaming, it’s no longer a dream. And funnily enough, I found out almost five months ago (Asian timing, allow me). But it’s only starting to sink in now, because I’ll be heading off in September, and it’s August tomorrow! And it just happened to be an offer from my first choice med school! 😀

This offer came after two post-interview rejections. It was safe to say that when I saw that “something has updated on UCAS Track” e-mail for the third time, I was already expecting to skim my eyes over the words “unsuccessful”, “declined” and “withdrawn”. I was desensitised to the rejections, especially as my second rejection was awfully painful (I genuinely thought that I had a chance of getting an offer at that particular med school as I felt like the interview went better than the others).

I was at work having my lunch break when I checked my e-mails. When I saw the word “offer”, the first thing I did was log out of UCAS Track. Then I logged back in, typing my password in with trembling hands. I saw it again, that word “offer” was ACTUALLY there. I turned to my colleagues next to me, told them I got into med school and then just broke down. The entire coffee room looked in my direction wondering what was going on, until some of my colleagues started screaming and ran over to hug me. I remember shaking so much and I just cried as I planted my face into a colleagues shoulder. I then ran into the theatre I was working in that day and announcing it to the nurses and surgeons, as they had literally been asking me whether I had any news just a matter of hours beforehand.

News at my workplace spreads like wildfire. Before I knew it, everyone seemed to be aware! I hadn’t even called my family because I kept crying and everyone was just buzzing around me. Eventually I got around to calling my parents and other half. Their reactions were just priceless. I will forever cherish those three phone conversations I had that day!

The one thing I am grateful about is the fact that I didn’t give up. Sometimes, the easiest thing to do felt like giving up. I am glad I didn’t let people’s opinions get in the way of my journey. I’m so glad I didn’t take the easy way out and go to Europe. For once, I value my stubbornness, as the one thing I kept saying (to the brown aunties) was that I wasn’t going to give in and go to Europe, but I was going to try for as long as I could and get into a UK medical school.

Now don’t get me wrong, no disrespect to anyone studying med in Europe (you guys are brave as hell) but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I did my first degree alongside medics and I saw what UK med school courses were like and I had friends in Europe telling me it’s nothing like the UK and only to come if I had literally no other choice. Medicine is incredibly hard to get into as it is. I felt like I would truly value my achievement of getting in if I felt the real pressure and persevered through all the hurdles, instead of applying to somewhere that didn’t require that much from you prior to being accepted. Also I’ve heard enough horror stories about the super high pass marks and about people who haven’t been able to get jobs straight away once coming back to the UK (in fact met one just the other day…) so yeah, I’d rather avoid that stress.

Anyway, it honestly took a very long time for this all to feel real. I’m really starting to feel it now as 1) it’s September soon and 2) I have to hand my notice in next week! It’s so weird… I’ve been working for over a year and a half and I have to leave soon, but I’m leaving because I achieved all that I needed to achieve from working there. I’m going to be so upset on my last day, that’s for sure! I have made some amazing friends at work who have been SO supportive of everything I’ve gone through within the last two years.

As well as the friends at work who have had to put up with me moaning about UCAS, UKCAT and interviews, my friends from my first degree have been incredible (as usual!) They have supported me throughout my journey, from giving me buckets of advice, checking numerous personal statement drafts and helping me to prepare for interviews (I guess having medic friends and a medic other half has its perks!!) But most of all, they (like all of my family) have just believed in me throughout, and have just been there for me.

So in a nutshell, if you have a dream, work towards it. No one can get in the way of your dreams unless if you let them. Use demotivating words as your motivation to prove people wrong!

I’m only starting to feel it, but man, I’m about to start the next chapter of my life and it’s safe to say, I’m excited! 😀

X